Come Try My New Programming Language
And the Apple Developer Community seems to be ecstatic about this!
For the privilege of installing any apps you make, with my new proprietary language, onto any of the devices you buy (from me) you must additionally pay me $100/year. And of course, if you want to share your application with anybody else, you have to pay me a little bit more for that luxury too.
Oh, you can only develop with it on computers that I make, which cost over $1000. Plus you can only deploy it to devices I make, which typically cost you more than $500 each too.
I've been developing it in secret, with no feedback from the general community.I control all the language features, the platform, the development tools and the documentation, and it doesn't work on any third party devices.
Can you tell I'm not an Apple fanboy!