Online Fruit Sharing Network

I've decided that I no longer wish to pay for fruit.

I did the math:
Fruit, such as apples, grow on trees in fields:

• Cost of seeds - free (they drop off trees)


• Cost of land - free (it's just sat there doing nothing, like it has been for billions of years)


• Cost of trees - free (they grow in the ground)

So why the fuck am I being charged a dollar for every apple that I buy from Safeway?

For long enough now the big labels (Del Monte, Dole, etc.) have set artifically high prices for their content. It occured to me that they rake in dollar after dollar for apples and oranges, keeping most of the profits while the real content providers - the trees - are not sufficiently rewarded.

Why should I go to the store and buy fruit? I'm just going to sneak down to the farmer's field and pull free fruit it straight off the tree. I know where the trees are. Then, I'm going to set-up an online fruit sharing network to tell everyone else where the fruit is.

I'll call it FruTella. When I have some fruit I'll advertise it on my FruTella client and if anyone else wants the fruit they can get it off me for free. We'll show them money grabbing scum at the labels!

FruTella should be a huge success on college campuses, where the kids don't have enough money to pay for fruit. By using FruTella they'll have all the free fruit they can stomach and that'll free-up their money to buy more important stuff, like music and beer.

Of course, the centralized approach of my FruTella network has some drawbacks, but it'll do for the time being. I'm working on a new system actually, but keep it under your hat. I'm planning a protocol by which fruit can be diced into small chunks so if you want an apple, you can get a bit from me and a bit from somewhere else and still end up with the whole apple. Not a fruit cocktail, which wouldn't be good.

I will call my new protocol PipTorrent. With just a few PipTorrent seeds out there it will be much faster to distribute the illegally downloaded fruit.

Then when I've Set the music fruit free I will start on meat. Just you wait till you hear how my GmooTella protocol works.



Wibble.